Last Train Home
by CrimsonKissMJ
Summary: She thought he was gone for good and that her pain would cease. But for Grainne O'Shea life was never that easy. Sorry everyone Chapter 4 is the last. Thanks for all the support!
1. Carousel

This is my second Boondock Saints Fanfiction and I hope someone enjoys it. It's not going to be very long only 3 or 4 chapters. Anyway this has been a concept brewing from a while now but now being off for two weeks I had time to write it. So enjoy and review! This story is based on the song "Last Train Home" by Ryan Star.

_You haven't changed.  
Stand in the light,  
I need to see you,  
uncover my eyes._

_The tears coming down,  
making lines on your face.  
One for each year, now  
that you've been away._

_We were only kids,  
we ran like water.  
Your dad said,  
stay away from my daughter.  
The sun was coming down when I said,  
can't you just believe?_

_And if you wait for me,  
I'll be the light in the dark if you lose your way.  
And if you wait for me,  
I'll be your voice when you don't know what to say.  
I'll be your shelter,  
I'll be your fate.  
I'll be forever,  
wait for me._

_I'll be the last train,  
I'll be the last train home._

_You were a storm,  
it blew us away.  
I wouldn't leave you,  
but you couldn't stay._

_We were only kids,  
we ran like water.  
Your dad said,  
stay away from my daughter.  
The sun was coming down when I said,  
can't you just believe?_

_And if you wait for me,  
I'll be the light in the dark if you lose your way.  
And if you wait for me,  
I'll be your voice when you don't know what to say.  
I'll be your shelter,  
I'll be your fate.  
I'll be forever,  
wait for me._

_I'll be the last train,  
I'll be the last train home._

_We were only kids,  
we ran like water.  
I told your dad,  
I love your daughter.  
The sun was coming down when I said,  
can't you just believe?_

_And if you wait for me,  
I'll be the light in the dark if you lose your way.  
And if you wait for me,  
I'll be your voice when you don't know what to say.  
I'll be your shelter,  
I'll be your fate.  
I'll be forever,  
wait for me._

_I'll be the last train,  
I'll be the last train,  
Hold on to love,  
and wait for me._

_I'll be the last train,  
I'll be the last train home._

_I'll be the last train,  
I'll be your last train home._

* * *

I woke up early so I had the full day to get all my chores down. When I was younger I was able to sleep late. Now all the problems of the world where facing me. Everything was easy as child. You would just get up and have breakfast ready. Having a child you have to be grown up. I rolled off my bed and threw on some old sweats. I mumbled the whole way because I kept falling over things. My whole room was a mess full of strewn clothes. I growled knowing that if I ever wanted to get my son to clean his room I would have to clean my own. I grabbed a rubber band from my counter and tied my golden locks into a ponytail. I stumbled my way out my door and walked into the opposite room. I opened the door and stepped into my son's immaculate clean room. For a seven year old he was neat. Damn, he definitely wasn't my kid. I walked over to his bed and shook him awake. He looked up and groaned.

"Come on, Gerald. I need to get some chores done." I rustled his reddish-brown hair. He moaned in agony and got up. I passed him some clothes and walked out his door. Coffee, I need some serious coffee. I almost made it down my stairs when I realized I forgot my purse. I ran back into my room and grabbed it. I passed Gerald's room again and realized he was back in his bed. "Gerald Patrick O'Shea. Get your little Irish ass up." He looked over at me and got up. I could hear him mumbling underneath his breath. Yeah, he was my son.

I got to the market early enough to not reach the usual Saturday crowd. Gerald wasn't paying much attention he was so intent on the new video game I bought him. Eggs, check. Milk, check. Pasta, check. Potatoes, check. I heard a crash which caused my eyes to avert to the sound. Gerald was on the ground and so was his video game. Damn it. He must have run smack into someone. I went on my knees to his side and grabbed the video game and held out my hand to him.

"I'm really sorry. Damn, these video games." I mumbled before meeting the stranger's eyes. When I finally got Gerald and myself up I looked straight into the stranger's eyes. His crystalline blue eyes stared back with intensity. Why did those eyes look so familiar? I started to examine his features. Shit. My whole body froze.

"Grannie?" He asked. My mouth became dry.

"Connor…" I said hoarsely. "I didn't know you were back."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "We just got back a week ago." I saw his eyes look down to Gerald.

"Oh, this is my son Gerald." Connor smiled at him and stuck his hand out. Gerald shook his hand politely. I saw another man come up behind Connor but he didn't look up.

"Connor, what did mom say about…" His voice trailed off when he looked up at me. Murphy McManus gave me the widest smile I have ever seen.

"Gracie Brannigan?" I nodded and he pushed Connor away and picked me up. I chuckled and he let me down. I saw his eyes also look at Gerald.

"O'Shea now." I said lightly before looking at Gerald."Gerald this is Murphy another one of my old friends." Gerald smiled and looked over to me. I knew he wanted to leave. "Go and get whatever junk food you want." He smiled and ran off. I looked over and saw both the boys looking at my ring finger. I still had my ring on even after all these years.

"So where's the lucky lad?" I noticed Connor cringe slightly.

"Windowed. New York City Firefighter. Your mother didn't tell you?" The both shook their head in unison and than there eyes shot to the floor. I knew I had to change the subject. "So where are your wives?" I said jokingly but at the same time I really wanted to know. Mrs. McManus and I never talked about the boys.

"Neither of us are married but I found me a lovely lass that'll be me bride." Murphy said proudly. I smiled at him graciouslyand looked down at my watch slightly.

"We should get a drink sometime." The both nodded. "Well, I need to go finish my errands for the day. Are you staying with your mother?" The nodded again and I smiled politely. I turned and walked away shaking. I had just fallen back in my past.

"_Grainne, let's go!" My father screamed. I looked at my house and than the McManus boys. There house was only on the other side of the field and I had known them since I was first born in Ireland. We all were only a few months apart but I was older._

"_Coming, Dad!" My New York accent had always sounding strange against my father's Irish one. _

"_Do ya really gotta go?" Connor said drearily._

"_I have to go home." I said sadly. My mother was from New York and my father was from Ireland. They had me and divorced soon after. So I stayed with my mom during the school year and Ireland in the summer._

"_Why can't ya stay here?" Murphy asked._

"_I have to go home to my mom."_

"_Ya can share me mom. Anyway, we neve' see our Da and ya don't see us leavin' every moment." I hit Connor in the head._

"_It doesn't work that way. I gotta go to school." They both rolled there eyes at me. _

"_Damn it, Grainne. The plane is leaving in an hour." My dad was starting to sound really angry. I leaned forward and hugged both the boys together. I pulled away and kissed both there cheeks. They made disgusted faces and I ran off to meet my dad. He grimaced when he saw me coming. I knew he was looking at my grass and dirt stained overalls. What could I say? I was only ten years old. "Ya gotta stop hangin' out with them boys. Why don't ya play with some lasses?" I shook my head and jumped into his car. Years later I realized he never liked me being friends with the McManus's. That should have been my warning right there but any girl can tell you that they never listen to their father. _

The next day I got a call from Mrs. McManus. She wanted me to come over for lunch. I really wanted to say no but I couldn't. Ma (she always made me call her) had always been a mother to me ever since I was child. It helped especially when my own mother died. She has always been there from me to babysitting Gerald to making dinner for me. I couldn't just say no to her because her sons were home.

The door was swung open and I could smell whiskey and corned beef. I walked in knowing that she wouldn't mind and would just put me to work. I heard voices coming from the kitchen. I walked to the doorway and stopped in my place when I heard my name

"Don't even think about tryin' something with Gracie, Connor." Mrs. McManus voice boomed.

"Ma, I wasn't tryin'-" Connor replied.

"I don't want to hear it. She's a gorgeous girl with a son. Ya may have had a thing with her before but it's over now." My heart leaped in my chest. They were talking about me. I walked in quickly pretending as if I wasn't eavesdropping. Connor's eyes were wide which only made me giggle. I walked over to Ma and grabbed a spoon from behind her. She moved away and I started to stir some sauce she was making.

"Ya be needing a good man to feed." I laughed and turned to look at Connor who was staring at his mother beet red. She patted my back and walked out of the kitchen. I watched her walk out and looked at Connor.

"Are you doing anything tonight?" Connor turned back into his normal color and looked at me. He shook his head and found more interest in the paper in front of him. "I was just thinking maybe all of us can get a drink at your uncle's bar."

"Are ya sure ya can keep up with us lass" Murphy said walking into the door. He was walking in with boxers and no shirt. I chuckled and turned back to the sauce. He walked towards me and kissed my cheek. I loved how Murphy wouldn't act awkward around me even after all these years. He sat down next to Connor and grabbed the paper from his hands. Connor slapped him and got up. He grabbed a mug that was on a table and brought it to the sink. I continued to stir but out of the corner of my eye I watched him. He was more muscular than I remembered and he was definitely more refined now. He still had a boyish face but it was sexier. He turned slightly and caught me looking at him. I saw a smirk fall on his lips and I could feel my cheeks redden. God, what was I fifteen again?

"So, what do you say?" I turned to Murphy.

"I'm in." He said non-enthusiastically. I looked towards Connor.

"Fine by me." I smiled and continued to stir the sauce in front of me. Ma walked back in and noticed her son with no clothes on. She slapped him in the back of the head.

"Ya got a lady in the house. Go on and put some clothes on." At this point she held his ear and was pushing him out the door. I could help chuckling the whole time. I forgot how much I missed them being around.

We all had lunch and it was it was just like old times. It made me excited for the night to some so I left and went home to change. I took a shower and threw on a pair of black jeans and a tight green sweater. I let my hair curl naturally and threw on some black eyeliner. Hey, I'm only 28. I got Gerald ready and drove over to the McManus's. Murphy and Connor were standing outside talking lightly to one another and smoking. They had on jeans, black shirts, and black coats. I don't think they have updated there look since high school. I got out and ushered Gerald to the door. Murphy smirked at my appearance while Connor just stared at me.

"Take a picture it'll last longer." I said walking into the house. I heard Murphy cracking up behind me but I didn't dare turn around to see Connor's face.

I came back out a few minutes later after Gerald was situated. Both of them stood as I got outside. I walked past them and went to my car. I felt myself being tugged away. I turned and Connor's eyes met mine.

"Come on, we're walking." He and Murphy both linked there arms in mine. I smiled to myself remembering all the times when we were younger. I looked at Connor and he turned to me. Something happened at that moment. A flood of emotions came back to me. I had to turn away. I keep trying to relive the past. When we were happy. When I still loved him. When we were in love for six years. When we turned 20, Connor and I were engaged. He had asked me one night. I thought he was really drunk but he asked me again the next day and that day on until I finally told him I would. Half a year later he broke up with me and was gone. I followed a few months later. We never crossed paths until yesterday. I let go of both of their arms and walked ahead of them. I heard Connor sigh but they didn't bother me until we actually got to the pub. We all squeezed into a booth all the way in the back. It was a round booth so I was stuck in the middle of both of them. Murphy was the first one to break the tension.

"So what have ya been up to?" He asked.

"I'm a nurse." I said proudly. I heard Connor chuckle.

"What the hell is so funny?" I felt my anger rising.

"Aren' ya the same lass who was squeamish as all hell?" I nodded reluctantly. I noticed a round of drinks coming our way. Connor and Murphy both looked towards the bar where their uncle stood. The waved him as a gesture of thanks. The waitress placed the drinks down and I saw her smirk at Connor. She looked about 19, brown eyes, and long fake blonde hair. Grade A, bimbo. She set the drinks down and walked away. She glanced back at him every few seconds. I saw Connor egging her on by smiling. I snatched my drink and just chugged it down. Murphy's eyes nearly bulged out of his head when he saw my glass was only less than half left.

"What has gone and gotten into ya?" He said laughing. I smiled and turned to Connor who just looked at me than the waitress. He must have put two and two together because he smiled down at his glass and took a swig. Damn it, why did I have to be so obvious that I was still attracted to him? I chugged down the rest of the beer and more beer kept on coming.

"You know you left exactly seven years ago today. And you know what I waited….wait isn't that a funny word? Anyways, I always waited for you to just call me and say everything was a mistake." I said falling onto Connor. He lifted me up enough to see his face.

"I think you've had quite a bit to drink." He positioned me to sit by myself. I looked over at Murphy who was laughing.

"Are you laughin' at my misery? You're to blame to- You left too. I loved him." I pointed to Connor. "And you were like a bro-" My mind shut off. I had forgotten the word.

"Brother?" Murphy finished. I nodded happily.

"Brother!" I said excitedly. I noticed everyone in the bar turn to look at us. "What?" I yelled. I saw both the boys exchange glances. Murphy got up and went to the bar to talk to his uncle so he didn't kick us out. I moved closer to Connor. My lips reached up to his ear.

"I want you." I breathed. He twisted his neck away from me but I pulled him closer. I bit down on his ear lobe but I let go and started on his neck. Kissing, licking, and biting. I looked up at his eyes and knew from the color of his eyes he was trying to resist me. I turned my head slightly to see if Murphy was looking but he wasn't so I continued. Connor continually pulled away but it didn't stop me. I wanted him here and now. Finally, he got me to stop and I just rested my head against him. When Murphy came back I got very hot. I pushed away from Connor.

"It's so hot." I started to tug at my sweater bringing it over my head when I felt someone pinning my arms. I looked up and Connor's eyes were wide.

"Let's go." I heard Murphy say. They both pulled me out of the booth and ushered me to the door. I jumped on Murphy's back as soon as we got out.

"What the fuck?" He screamed. He repositioned himself and allowed me to stay there. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He laughed and continued to walk.

We got back to there place relatively quickly. I grabbed my car keys and jumped off Murphy. I stumbled into my car when I felt myself being pried out. Connor was picking me up. I rested in his arms and he slammed the car door shut. We went up the walkway and Murphy got the door open. I had no idea where they were taking me until I noticed Murphy was gone and it was just Connor and me. He put me down on the bed but I got up. He walked to the bathroom. I just stared it grab at my clothes. I took off my sweater and jeans than my bra and panties. I laid on his bed waiting for him to return. He came back a few minutes later. He didn't have a shirt but he still had his jeans on. His eyes grew wide when he saw me. I got up from the bed and walked towards him. He didn't move a muscle. I threw my hands around his neck and pulled his lips to mine. I could feel resistance but I didn't care I wanted him right than and there but my stomach disagreed. I pushed him away and ran into the bathroom. I fell against the toilet and got rid of all the contents of my stomach. I felt someone pulling my hair away from my face and I knew it was Connor. I looked up at him and smiled than everything faded away into a dark abyss.


	2. My Sweet Song

I wanted to add this chapter before I go back to school. Ugh, school. I hate my life anyway I really hope everyone enjoys this next chapter and the way this week and next is going possibly the next chapter is going to be out by mid to late April. Sorry about that but life is really hectic at the moment. Also, I want to thank I Fancy Hugh Dancy and BelHavenOnTap for reviewing. You guys rock! To anyone else reading you rock too. Well this is getting way to long. Remember I own nothing of the saints that is owned by I assume now by Troy Duffy. And inspiration is the P.S. I Love You Soundtrack "My Sweet Song" By Toby Lightman. Which I also do not own.

_My sweet song  
It's been a long time  
What'd you come around here for  
Cause that old love is gone  
And I've since carried on  
Thought I was rid of you for sure  
Oh my sweet song, you don't sound so  
sweet no more_

Please don't sing to me  
Cause it hurts me to hear the melody that was  
Good to me before  
Oh my sweet song, you don't sound so  
sweet no more

Oh you said love was forever and you told me  
love would never  
Break my heart, and I believed you as I fell  
That's all over, let it go,  
You're just a song I used to know  
And your fantasy, it don't work for me  
Go and pick on someone else

My sweet song  
Guess I'm stuck with you  
And someday, I'll find the love I'm looking for  
Then my sweet, sweet song won't sound so  
sad no more  
My sweet, sweet song, I'll guess I'll always be yours

* * *

I rolled over and felt someone's body stop my own. My lazy eyes drifted open and I took in the dark room in front of me. This was not my room. I jumped pulling my knees to my chest. I looked over to the mass of hair next to me. It was reddish-brown. I looked closer. Shit, it was Connor. I dug my face between my knees and screamed into it. It was a light scream that didn't even stir Connor. I lifted my head and looked at him again. I raised my hand up and slapped Connor in the head. He bolted up and looked at me.

"What the fuck?" He said. I rolled my eyes but even that hurt. I felt like a massive sized truck hit me and that my head was splattered on the concrete. I lifted up the sheets to see if either of us clothes were still on. I noticed I had one of Connor's shirts and he had only his boxers on. It didn't feel like I had on panties or a bra. My chest began to heave.

"Did we?" I asked cringing.

"Nah, but ya sure as hell wanted to." He puckered his lips and I slapped him. He ran his hand over his cheek and grimaced. "Ya have a lovely way of thanks." I got up from the bed pulling the sheet with me. He jumped up and tried to grab it back but I held it firmly. I caught myself staring at his chiseled chest. He noticed and smirked at me and my bare legs. I rolled my eyes again and wrapped the sheet around my waist.

"What the hell happened last night?" I said finally. He sat back down on the bed.

"We talked n' ya got drunk off ya lovely arse." I sat down on the bed also trying to remember what had happened the night before.

_I stood naked in front of him and wrapped my arms around his neck bringing his lips to mine. _

"Oh shit." I gasped. I jumped up from the bed and turned to face him. He sat their all smug. I let the sheet fall and I ran to hit him. I felt my open handed assaults turn to fists. He got up even through my attacks. He spun me around were my back was against his chest and he gripped at my wrists. I fell to the ground trying to get out of his grip.

"Relax." He said huskily. His breath was ragged and so was mine. I could feel tears welling in my eyes. He let go and I let my head fall to the floor. At this point I was sobbing. I felt Connor rubbing his hand on my back. I looked up at him wearily.

"Why did you have to come back?" I said between breaths. He looked taken back by that question.

"Is it such a bad thing?" I cried a little harder.

"I was getting along so well without you. Now you're just making it difficult to hate you." I lifted up slightly and looked at him. He used his thumb to wipe away some of my tears. Why did he have to do this? I got up and stood. He followed and stared down at me. "You left without a word. You think you can just stroll back into my life like nothing happened. Eight years I waited for you." I slapped him again. This time he did nothing to protect himself. This time he leaned down and kissed me lightly on the lips. I wanted it so badly I couldn't pull away. He pulled away and stared into my eyes.

"I always want ya. Ya shouldn't have doubted it." My mind went back to our last time together.

"_I thought you loved me." I said._

"_I don't know what ya want from me, Grace. I just said maybe we should just have a wee break." _

"_So you want to break up." He nodded reluctantly. I walked towards him as if I wanted one last kiss and slapped him across his cheek. He looked at my eyes filling with tears. "Damn you and all of our goddamn years together." I walked away. I pulled the claddagh that stayed on my ring finger. He watched as it fell to the ground. After that I didn't see him again._ He left for the U.S. a day later. I heard from Mrs. McManus. I knew he broke up with me so he could leave without me waiting for him. It still made me feel worse because he knew I would have left with him. A few months later I went back to New York and a few months after that I was married with a child thinking this was my world now. It all crashed in a second when my husband died in a fire and I ended right back in the place I started. In his arms.

"You're too late." I got up and grabbed the clump of clothes on the floor. I stormed into to the bathroom.

The room was cleared when I got out fully dressed. All I needed to do was slip out Gerald and I was home free. I slipped down the stairs and I saw Murphy teaching Gerald how to defend himself. I laughed watching how amused Gerald was. I got to the bottom of the stairs when Murphy noticed me. He stopped Gerald from his assaults and picked him up. I sat down on the stairs. He walked over to me and dropped Gerald on to my lap. I made a grunting sound and he jumped off.

"Ya crazy ma." He laughed and ran off into the kitchen. I smiled up at Murphy.

"Ya got yourself a lovely kid there." He said sitting down next to me. I looked at him and chuckled.

"Yeah, just hope he doesn't end up like us when we were kids." Murphy had a look of horror on his face until he threw his head into my shoulder chuckling. He lifted his head up and smiled at me.

"Ya had yourself a great time last night." He said with a laugh. I hit his arm and chuckled.

"You should have learned never to let me drink that much."

"Than we wouldn't have had a good old story to tell." I sighed.

"How much damage did I do last night?" I said.

"Beside giving me uncle's bar a peep show. Ya just blamed Connor and me for all ya unhappiness." He looked a little sad saying the last part so I threw my arm around him and placed my head on his shoulder giving him an awkward side hug. He smiled and I let go of him and went to get up but he pulled me back down with one swift motion. He put his hand in mine.

"Connor seemed upset. What happened?" His hand was still laced in mine. Murphy was always my rock. Sure he had loyalties to his brother but he would defiantly stick up for me if I was right.

"Nothing to worry about Murph just I won't be around to much." I finally pulled his hand away from mine and got up from the stairs. "Gerald, come on honey we need to get home." Gerald ran out with Mrs. McManus following. I hugged her goodbye and I ushered Gerald out to the car. When I got in I noticed Connor sitting on the porch watching the car drive away. I wanted to drive right back into his arms but I can't. Even after all these years the wounds were still fresh. I just looked at my son in the back seat and realized I had no idea what I was doing.

Weeks lasted without a single sighting of the McManus brothers. I always seemed to avoid them even when I dropped Gerald off. It also helped that for a few weeks they went to Dublin. I didn't even bother to ask why they were there.

I got to church and the procession had already started. I would have been there early if I had woken up late after working the graveyard shift. My body was in agony and I was still half-asleep and my hair was flowing freely down while I had on my green striped sundress. Gerard was dressed normally with his khakis. He was actually was the one to wake me up and he was already dressed. He was such an amazing kid. I was so lucky to have him. He walked into a pew in the back and I followed. When I got settled I noticed two men in front of us kneeling. My whole body froze. Murphy and Connor were right in front of me. Why did they have to be here the day I look horrible and feel like shit? I sighed knowing God was screwing with me. I got through the beginning of the mass with them not noticing me until we had to show sign of peace. Murphy was the first to turn around. He smiled brightly when he saw the both of us. He leaned down to shake Gerald's hand first than got up to shake mine firmly. He winked at me and turned to his brother. I tried to stop him but it was too late. Connor's blue eyes were hitting mine. I held my hand out to him and it took it in his own. His hands were warm and it felt as if he didn't want to let go but he did than leaned down to Gerald. I looked from Gerald to Connor. He was the piece that was always missing. I knew it right than and there and realized the mistake I was making. I spent all that time hating him and never once realizing I still truly loved him and that he could possibly love me back.

Almost the whole mass my eyes were on Connor. I watched his every movement trying to replay our old life together. I remembered the first time I've ever kissed Connor when I was only 15.

"_Come on, McManus. You gotta be tougher than that." I said running a little faster down the field. Murphy was sick so Mrs. McManus asked us to get some groceries. Now we were racing back. I hadn't even realized Connor had caught up to me. I ran closer tripping him in the process. He pulled me down with him slipping all the groceries onto the grass. When I hit the ground I was pinned beneath him. I was giggling uncontrollably. Connor slid off me slightly moving himself on to his hip to look at me._

"_Ya think that was funny." He smirked down at me. I found myself not wanting to get up. It was comfortable on the grass next to Connor. His eyes were on me the whole time._

"_Quit staring Connor. It would make me assume things." _

"_Would that be so bad, lass?" He sat up and looked out to the hills. _

"_I don't know." He turned and came closer to me. He leaned over and pushed a strand of hair from my face and placed it behind my ear. His fingers still linger on my cheek. "Connor…" I breathed._

"_What if I told ya, ya 're beautiful?" My heart started beating faster and I couldn't speak. Connor and I had been friends for many years. Sure, I liked him but I never thought much would come from it. _

"_Connor, do you think this is such a-"_

_He leaned down closer and let his lips touch mine. My heart was beating faster by the second. His lips became more aggressive and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He took this as a sign of encouragement and probed my mouth open with his tongue. After a few moments he pulled away but kept close to me. I smiled up at him and leaned up to kiss him again. It was short and sweet and it started the beginning of six years together._

When the mass was over the boys ran out like bat out of hell. I didn't even have enough to stop them but I followed them out anyway. I didn't see them so I just decided to go home. I made my way around the corner with Gerald when I saw Murphy and Connor talking to an older man. They looked to be in a serious conversation so I didn't want to disturb them. They were a few feet from my car so I knew I had to pass them. I took a deep breath and started to walk fast. I kept my head low and practically ran. I got past them and I had my hand on the handle of the door.

"Grainne!" Murphy's voice boomed. I froze and I knew I couldn't hide anymore. I turned and smiled awkwardly like I didn't know they were there. He used his hand to motion me towards them. All of their eyes were on me. I held onto Gerald's hand tightly and walked to them. I placed myself in between Connor and Murphy. The older man smirked at me. He was taller than both the boys and had a long white beard that matched his long white hair. His look was very hard and cold. He was intimidating to say the least.

"So this is the lovely Grace. She's grown up to be quite a beauty." He said. His aura completely changed in a second. He became this sweet old man. He held his arms out to me and hugged me. I didn't know what to do so I hugged back. He pulled away and a huge smile was still on his face.

"Thank you but you are?" I didn't want to be rude but he seemed to know me but I didn't know him. He laughed whole heartedly.

"Ya haven't seemed ta talk about me much boys." Connor put his hand on the small of my back which sent shivers down my spine.

"This is our Da." He moved his hand from my back and refused to look at me. I just kept my eyes toward there father.

"It is wonderful to see you again." I think that last time I had saw him was when we all were five. I turned to face Connor and for once he was looking at me. "Can I speak to you?" I said lowly. He nodded and looked over to his father and Murphy. They smiled and Murphy looked down at Gerald.

"How bout ya show my dear old Da what I taught ya." Gerald smiled and looked up at me.

"Go and have fun. Don't be too rough on Murphy because I don't want to have to stitch him up." There father laughed and put his arm around me.

"You're amazing lass. It'll be a shame one of me boys don't marry ya." I turned to Connor whose face was beet red again. His parents always had a way of embarrassing him. There father chuckled and the three of them walked away. I turned back to Connor who was now placing a cigarette between his lips. I ripped it from him and took a drag.

"Jesus Christ woman. Wha' ya think ya fuckin' doing?" I pulled it from my lips and made an O out of smoke. It landed perfectly around his head. I flicked the cigarette away and met Connor's eyes.

"I was wrong." I said strongly. I always hated admitting I was wrong but this I needed to do.

"Wrong?" He said mockingly. I noticed him shift closer to me.

"Yes, I was wrong. Maybe, we could give this…" I hadn't even realized what happened but he cut me off but crashing his lips against mine. His hand already was on the small of my back making me closer to him. I let my hands run through his hair. He deepened his kiss and I felt his hand roaming to my backside. I pulled away slightly just enough to break the kiss but not enough to move our bodies apart. "We're in front of a church, McManus." He smirked and kissed me again. This time it was light and only lasted a few seconds. He pulled away and this time separated our bodies. He went to walk away but I grabbed his hand and pulled him back. "Say something." He nodded and threw his arm around my waist.

"I think I never stopped loving ya." I smiled at him and laughed.

"Liar." I said mockingly. He let go of my hand and started too walk up the block. I grabbed his hand and pulled him back again. He grabbed at my waist and held onto me this time. I noticed Gerald, Murphy, and Mr. McManus coming around the corner. Murphy smirked at me and his brother and so did their father. I pushed Connor off and looked down at Gerald who had the same expression as the other two. I was hoping Connor didn't notice the look but he did and looked at me questionably. I started to get all fidgety.

"Come on Gerald we need to get home." Gerald started to walk towards the car.

"What's the rush? Da, wants ta get ta kno' ya. Come have dinner with us. Ma won't mind." Murphy said. I still saw Connor who looked as if he had seen a ghost. He must have realized.

"Ah, alright. I'll be there in an hour." I noticed Connor wanted to say something so I got Gerald into the car than got in myself. I put my foot on the gas and got out of there soon as possible. It was too soon for Connor to know they were another person with McManus blood.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...So what do you all think? Btw, I heard that Duffy may possibly be doing the sequel this summer and there was a video on St. Patrick's Day that got taken down. If someone can tell me if this is true or not I may conside updating sooner. ) Much love, CrimsonKissMJ.


	3. No Other Love

I'm so sorry for the long wait. Life has been extremely hectic. Almost all the crazy things are over so I'll be able to finish this story up in the next few weeks. I think there will be only two chapters left so hope you all enjoy. To everyone who has reviewed thank you guys so much because it has inspiried me to really get these chapters up quicker than I expected. So yea rock on and to anyone who has read it I love you all too. Btw, Don't own the boys or any character in Boondock currently I think they are owned by Troy Duffy. This chapter is based on the song "No Other Love" by Chuck Prophet. Which I don't own either. CKMJ

_No other love  
Mama, I'm flyin'  
No other love  
Mama, I'm flyin'_

I can go  
I can go anywhere  
No other love  
Can take me there, ooh

No other love  
Mama, I'm flyin'  
No other love  
Mama, I'm flyin'

I can go  
I can go anywhere  
No other love  
Can take me there, ooh

Mama, I'm flyin'  
Mama, I'm flyin'

I can go  
I can go anywhere  
No other love  
Can take me there, ooh

No other love  
Mama, I'm flyin'  
No other love  
Mama, I'm flyin'

* * *

I was shaking by the time I got to the McManus's. This was the day all of the lies I told had to be put to stop. All the secrets I kept needed to be destroyed. I looked a little farther past there house and noticed my father's house lite up in the Irish sun. I had to at least go to my father first. He was the one who did raise me. So I swerved the car and drove it a little father down the road. I parked looking at the old house remembering my life there.

"**Dad, I love him. I don't care what you say I'm going to date Connor." My father grabbed my wrist and dragged me up to my room.**

"**I dealt with a 'nough wit ya being friends wit them but dating no fuckin' way. They have bad blood." My father walked out of my room slamming the door behind him. I growled and looked out my window. Connor and Murphy stood there smirking. They must have known that telling my father wouldn't work out to well. So I threw down my purse and started to climb down the drain pipe. As soon as I got low enough Connor grabbed my waist and helped me the rest of the way down. When my feet were planted firmly I turned and wrapped my arms around his neck. Our lips meet and I felt butterflies form in my stomach. This was worth any fight I ever had with my father.**

I jumped out and got Gerald out too and made our way to the door.

"Ma, why 're we at grandpa's?" I looked down at Gerald and smiled so he didn't get worried. He was very keen on my senses.

"I just thought it would be nice to visit him than we can go see the McManus's." He smiled and I knocked on the door. My hands were still shaking I heard a shuffle than the door swung open. My father looked a bit shocked at both of us but he ushered us in and hugged the both of us.

"What brings ya here?" He said concerned.

"We were just going to dinner at the McManus's." He rolled his eyes but I ignored it. "I just thought it would be nice to stop by." I forced myself to smile. He came towards me and grabbed my hand. I hated when someone could tell that I was lying. "Gerry how about you go outside and play in the field." I said pulling out of my father's grip. Gerald immediately ran outside and I turned to look at my father. He was already sitting down.

"Something's bothering ya." I nodded. He patted the seat next to him but I was too jittery to sit down.

"Dad, I thought you should hear this before I tell Connor." I took a long deep breath. "I lied to you. Gerald is Connor's. That's why I left." I sped through the words. I was slightly hoping that he didn't understand me but the way he was standing I knew he did. His face turned beet red and was shaking with anger. It was the same look ever since I was child and he would get angry. I had to explain myself more to distract him from going to kill Connor. "I found out I was pregnant a few days before I left. I was engaged so I thought it didn't matter. Than we broke up so I left than got married to the first person I dated after him. I never told you because I thought you would get mad at me. Like you are now." I looked away. He came closer and grabbed my forearms to force me to look at him.

"Connor McManus? Ya had a child with that fuck." He was screaming. I don't think he could even comprehend the volume of his voice. "He hurt ya know ya gonna let him in ya child's life. I raised ya better than that." He let go of me and sat down. He was trying to calm his anger but it wasn't working.

**My tears were flowing onto my crimson dress. The dress I bought because Connor was taking me somewhere fancy. I also was planning on telling him that we had a little one on the way. I didn't get to say it though. He told me he wanted to take a break. He was lying. He wanted to break up. Now I can't even tell if he wanted his child. So I ran. Ran all the way home in the pouring rain. I threw the door open and ran to my room. I needed to be alone.**

"**Gracie, what's wrong?" My father's voice came from the kitchen. I didn't stop and just ran to my room. I slammed the door shut and flung myself onto my bed. I dug my face into my pillow to muffle the sound of my tears and screaming. I heard my father come in but I didn't care. "Gracie?"**

"**Leave me alone." He sighed and sat down next to me.**

"**Ya got ta give up this American lass attidue." I dug my face a little deeper. "What's wrong? Did that McManus boy hurt ya?" I heard my father stand up. I pulled my face from the pillow and sat up. He would kill Connor if I didn't explain myself. I didn't want my father to kill him I would rather have that pleasure.**

"**Connor and I are over. Just leave it alone." My father turned red. It was something he did when he was angry. "Dad, please relax." I got up and walked towards my closet. I pulled down my suitcase. "I need to go to New York for a while. I think it would be nice to see Aunt Marie and to clear my head." My father slammed his fist against my wall going straight through the plaster. I felt strangely calm. "Dad, this has nothing to do with you or Connor. I just need to get out of Ireland." My father turned back to his normal color and he walked out the door. I knew it would be a few days before he would talk to me again. He thought I might be saying this out of anger but I wasn't. I needed to go to New York. To not see Connor or Murphy or my father for a while. To make a decision about this baby. My baby. I continued to pack crying on my beautiful crimson dress and touching the stomach that held my child.**

"Connor is Gerald's father." I said sternly. "I don't care if he doesn't want him. I can't hold on to this secret I've had for almost eight years. I just need to let him know for him and myself." I turned and walked out the back door. My father followed. When I walked out the door I saw Gerald playing with Connor. I was shocked to see Connor over here "Connor, what the hell are you doing here?" He looked odd. His color seemed back from church today and he did seem happy looking at Gerald. I felt a shiver run down my spine.

"I saw Gerald playin' in the field. I wanted to see ya." He looked over my head. "Hello Mr. Brannigan." I turned to my father and hugged him. I had to distract him from killing Connor. Which I knew he was fantasizing about.

"Dad, I love you and all you ever wanted was the best. This is the best for me." I whispered. I pulled away and kissed his cheek. I let go of him and walked towards Connor. When I turned to look back my father was gone. He finally accepted defeat. Connor looked at me and than looked down at Gerald. "Honey, go up to the house. We'll be there in a few." Gerald ran across the field. "I…" My voice started to trail off. Connor spun me towards him and kissed me. I pushed back knowing that words wouldn't form if he continued to kiss him. "Gerald's your son." My eyes were on the floor. I slid them up to see his reaction. I knew that he knew after church today but I needed to say it for my own selfish purposes of feeling better. I looked it to his eyes expecting a reaction. He was smiling from ear to ear. I was crying but I hadn't even realized. He lightly brushed the tears away with his thumb

"Why are you cryin' love?" He said still smiling like a fool. I wrapped my arms around his neck. We were so close I could feel his heartbeat.

"I'm so sorry for not telling you." My tears didn't stop. He pulled at my hands and forced me out of my grip on him. He steadied me by putting his hands on my forearms.

"You did what ya had to. I was a stupid prick back than but I want ya more than eva now. Ya was the only gal for me." He paused and his smile disappeared. "I wanna ask ya one thing though. Do ya want me to be his father?" Normally I was the kind of person who thought of ever decision for hours but I couldn't think clearly and just nodded my head. I had waited seven years for Connor to be Gerald's father. There was no doubt in my mind that he wouldn't be a perfect dad.

"But will you stay?" Connor looked taken back by the question. "Will you promise to not disappear like you did?" He grabbed me again and pulled me into a tender kiss. When he pulled away he smirked down at me.

"Does that answer your question?" I smiled at him and nodded.

"I think it's time you go meet your son." I grabbed Connor's hand and we started to walk down the field back to the McManus's. I saw the house shone in an Irish sunset. I felt something burning inside of me. I told myself that I would turn the other cheek. Not thinking it would get this far. Not thinking I would have told all my other secrets. I jumped in front of Connor and grabbed his other hand. "Just one more question. How will you being a saint affect my son?" Connor's jaw dropped and for once a McManus had nothing to say.

I know it's shorter than the first two chapters but this one was extremely hard to write because I scraped the first 50 ideas I had for it. So any notes or reviews will be extremely helpful for the next two chapters. Until than peace and love. CKMJ


	4. Love You Till End

Thank God school is almost over. Hopefully, i don't fail because than I can't write as much. You all don't want to hear my life story so here is the next chapter. I'm not sure if I'm completely done with this story yet or if I have a few chapters left in me. If anything there will be only one more chapter left. Also, I want to thank everyone who has reviewed(I Fancy Hugh Dancy, BelhavenOnTap, Sith Happens,wolf-shadow666) You guys have been my inspiration and everyone who has read thanks! Anyway, back to this chapter. It's based on the song "Love You Till The End" by the Pogues and I do not own the saints(only Grace and Gerald). So enjoy!

* * *

All of them stared at me at the dinner table. All lined up perfectly opposite of me waiting. Waiting for some sort of answer. Not a word escaping their lips or mine. All slightly shocked how calm I was. You would think the reason I initially was shaking was due to me knowing the identity of a mass murder, not the identity of my son's father.

"Is anyone going to say anything?" I asked. Connor, who had been examining his nails for the past hour, finally looked up at the sound of my voice. A few seconds past and not another word was formed. Connor just stared straight into my eyes.

"How long ya known?" Murphy said while playing with the cigarette in his hand.

"Since it happened. I saw it on the news. I just never expected to see you boys again," I said.

"Lass, ya don't really seem upset." I nodded. I wasn't really upset. I just needed the question to be posed for what it meant for my son. It was a dangerous game they were playing. Sure I was nervous for Connor but I mainly had to worry for my son. He was my main priority. I looked at Connor again. He got up and came around the table to be near me. He leaned down next to me, looking up at me with his blue eyes.

"Ya know, I never would put that lad in any harm." He laced his fingers with mine, his other hand smoothing my hair. I pushed my chair back, escaping from Connor's touch.

"This isn't a time for your Irish charm." I felt so calm and in control. Connor stood up and walked back to his chair. "All I want to know if there is any chance of getting caught?" All four of them exchanged glances.

"There's always a chance," Ma chimed in. I glanced at her than back at Connor. He stared back with intensity until Gerald ran in the room.

"Ma!" Gerald ran up to me with a cut on his elbow. I saw in his eyes he was forcing himself not to cry. Same trait as Connor.

"How did you do that?" He shrugged. I stood up and grabbed his hand pulling him along to the kitchen. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Connor stand up. He walked over to Gerald and I and picked him up.

"I'll take care of 'em." It took me a few moments to let go of Gerald's hand but I had to do it. I watched as they walked away. They looked like two perfect puzzle pieces that were always meant to fit together. I tore my eyes away to look at the three other people waiting for an answer from me. Their expressions haven't changed. Still sad and scared that I would expose their lives. I had to get out for a while. To not have all of our lives in my hand. I walked out without saying a word. I knew one of them was going to follow me, so I just waited on the porch steps staring into the darkness. The door swung open. I didn't need to turn around I could sense who was behind me.

"Can I have a cigarette?" I said patiently waiting for Murphy's response. A cigarette fell in my lap. Murphy sat next to me as I put the cigarette in my trembling fingers. He leaned over and lit it for me then smiled lightly.

"How in the holy hell do ya always kno' its me?" I took a long drag and blew out all the air. I turned slightly and smirked.

"I'm psychic." Murphy shook his head, laughing. I couldn't help myself but to giggle, too. After a few seconds of laughter I laid my head against Murphy's shoulder.

"I really need a drink." I said as Murphy ran his hand through my hair.

"Alcohol ain't gonna solve ya problems this time." I sighed tucking the cigarette in my hands, closing my eyes, trying to get some comfort in having Murphy next to me. "It's not as bad as ya think it is."

"So killing people for a living isn't that bad?" He tensed up and I straightened up, taking another drag. He looked at me sadly.

"Don't say it like that." He looked off into the distance.

"How do you want me to say it, Murph? You do murder people."

"Bad people, Grace. If you had such a problem wit it, why didn't ya just ignore us after ya saw us at the market?" I sat there dumbfounded. Maybe I had just tricked my mind into believing it was all a lie. That what happened in New York wasn't them or maybe that I wasn't going to get involved. I was just going to acknowledge them.

"Murphy, get ya arse inside," Mr. McManus demanded. Murphy jumped at the voice and ran inside. I just waited for him to address me. He sat down next to me the same way Murphy had. I took one last drag of the cigarette and flicked it out of my hand. Neither one of us said a word for a few moments.

"Are you going to say anything?" I asked, turning to face the alpha male of the McManus clan.

"Aye, if ya want me ta lass." I nodded. "Do ya love Conner?" I nodded again. "Than none of this should matter." It was the most obvious thing in the world but because he said it, he made it seem like the greatest idea in the world. He leaned over and kissed my forehead. "I'm not gonna force ya to make a decision even though I won't mind ya as me daughter in law." I chuckled lightly. He stood up and walked inside, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

"Ma!" I felt two small arms wrap around my neck.

"Hey, sweetie." He let go and ran in front of me.

"Why are ya crying?" I wiped my eyes and cheeks. I hadn't even realized I was crying. Stupid emotions.

"I'm not crying." I knew he didn't believe me so I had to change the subject. "Did Connor take good care of you?"

"Yeah, but Connor said I might not see him as much." Gerald sounded so sad it just broke my heart. Gerald took a real liking to Connor and I couldn't just rip Gerald away. What was I saying? I didn't want to let Connor go, I love him too much. And having Connor with me I would always be protected. There was no real danger for me and Gerald.

"Well, Connor's wrong," I said.

"Am I?" A voice shot out behind me. I stood up and looked at Connor. He walked towards me and stopped only inches away from me.

"Maybe, we can give this a shot. I'm not making any promises," I said while Connor smirked at me. He knew I was saying yes and not just giving it a shot. He leaned closer, whispering in my ear.

"Aye, ya always fall for me Irish charm." I pushed him away just enough to have access to his mouth. I kissed him lightly, fully aware of Gerald behind us.

"Yuck!" Gerald said. I let go of Connor and turned around.

"One day ya gonna like a lass so much ya gonna kiss her like that," Conner said.

"Girls are gross." I clicked my tongue and he got scared for a minute.

"Not all girls, Ma. I mean you're not really a girl." He stumbled with his words. I ran to him and picked him up even though he was older than the age you would still normally pick a kid up. He yelped for me to put him down and I did. I turned slightly to usher Connor over. He came towards me and hooked his arm around my waist.

"How about we all go inside and talk?" Gerald nodded and ran past me into the house. I smiled at Connor. Suddenly he pulled me into him kissing me lightly. "Yum, so do I get to wake up to that every morning," he smirked at me.

"Ya can get more than that," I giggled and started to pull him into the house, but he pulled me back.

"What?" He smiled secretively.

"Aren't ya forgetting something?" I shrugged not knowing what the hell he was talking about. His hand reached into his pocket and he pulled out an all to familiar silver claddagh. I ripped it out of his hand and put it on my ring finger. My heart was pounding in my chest.

"Are you-?" He nodded waiting for my answer. I jumped up, wrapping my legs around his waist, kissing him tenderly. I pulled away just enough to tell him yes. He spun me around a few times before we both got to dizzy to stay attached.

"What the fuck are ya two doing out here?" Murphy inquired storming outside. I ran up to him and I threw my left hand into his face. He instantly picked me up and spun me around like his brother had done. "I think I'll like ya more than me own brother." He finally out me down and both of them ushered me into the house. Murphy, with his arm slung around my shoulder while Connor's was around my waist. We were finally back and nothing was going to get in the way of our lives again. I could see it in both of their eyes. They were finally home and so was I. Who knows if we will have a happy ending? All I know is at this moment, underneath the Irish moonlight, everything was perfect. My son had a father and I was in love. Not even a saint could make life that perfect.


End file.
